35 Best One Liner Dad Jokes

Why do dad jokes always seem to be so funny? Is it because they’re so corny that they’re actually funny? Or is it because we know that our dads are trying so hard to be funny that we can’t help but laugh? Whatever the reason, we can all appreciate a good dad joke. Here are some of our favorites:

Why don’t scientists trust atoms?

Because they make up everything!

Why did the gym close down?

It just didn’t work out!

Want to hear a construction joke?

Oh never mind, I’m still working on that one.

Why did the coffee file a police report?

It got mugged!

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?


What did the bartender say to the jumper cables?

You better not try to start anything.

Don’t you hate jokes about German sausage?

They’re the wurst!

Two artists had an art contest…

It ended in a draw

Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide.

What gun do you use to hunt a moose?

A moosecut!

If life gives you melons…

…you might have dyslexia.

Broken pencils…

…are pointless.

What did one snowman say to the other snowman?

‘Do you smell carrots?’

How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?

It’s a really obscure number. You’ve probably never heard of it.

Where do sick boats go?

The dock!

I like my slaves like I like my coffee:


My girlfriend told me she was leaving me…

…because I keep pretending to be a Transformer… I said, No, wait! I can change!

Old Chinese proverb:

Man who not shower in 7 days makes one reek.

What did the owner of a brownie factory say when his factory caught fire?

“I’m getting the fudge outta here!”

What form of radiation bakes you cookies?

A gramma ray

What did the bee use to dry off after swimming?

A beech towel.

What did the bee use to get out the tangles?

A honeycomb.

What’s the loudest economic system?


I went for a job interview today…

The interviewer said to me, What would you say your greatest weakness is? I said, I think I’d have to say my listening skills are my greatest strength.

Who was the knight that invented the round table?

Sir Cumference.

What did the German air force eat for breakfast during WW2?


I took the shell off a snail yesterday…

…you’d think it would move faster, but it was really kinda sluggish.

What did the number zero say to the number eight?

“Nice belt.”

What’s worse than a centipede with sore feet?

A giraffe with a sore throat

What’s red and bad for your teeth?

A brick.

Did you hear about the French chef who committed suicide?

He lost the huile d’olive

Wanna hear a joke about unemployed people?

Never mind, they don’t work.

Knock Knock

Who’s there Boo!

Boo who?

Don’t cry, it’s only a joke

How much did the skeleton charge for his excellent legal services?

An arm and a leg.

Why do gorillas have such big nostrils?

Cos they got big fingers.

Next time your dad trots out his favourite dad joke, make sure to give him a groan and a chuckle. It’s the perfect way to show your appreciation for the dad joke master in your life.

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