One noted chef was a perfectionist. He made the most delectablemeals because he expected nothing less. Thus it came as a surpriseto one of his students that the chef used low grade spices. “Why doyou use the worst spices when you expect the best?” the studentasked him one day. “Wouldn’t your foods taste so much better if youused premium-grade spices?””I once thought as you do,” the chef answered. “When I was learning,I bought all the best spices — they were fresh and perfectly ground,no flaws whatsoever. But taken with their own perfection, they wereunruly spices, constantly fighting each other to be the dominant tasteinstead of working together. So I tried lower grade spices — theyweren’t so perfect, but they weren’t so intractable either. And so itis well to remember, my dear pupil, that a glitch in thyme behaves fine.”
- Some time ago Mr. Clinton was hosting a state dinner when at the last minute his regular cook took ill and they had to get a replacement at short notice. The fellow arrived and turned out to be a very grubby looking man named Jon. The President voiced his concerns to his chief of staff but was told that this was the best they could do at such short notice. Just before the meal, the President noticed the cook sticking his fingers in the soup to taste it and again he complained to the chief of staff about the cook, but he was told that this man was supposed to be a very good chef. The meal went okay but the President was sure that the soup tasted a little off, and by the time dessert came, he was starting to have stomach cramps and nausea. It was getting worse and worse till finally he had to excuse himself from the state dinner to look for the bathroom. Passing through the kitchen, he caught sight of the cook, Jon, scratching his rear end and this made him feel even worse. By now he was desperately ill with violent cramps and was so disorientated that he couldn’t remember which door led to the bathroom. He was on the verge of passing out from the pain when he finally found a door that opened and as he undid his trousers and ran in, he realised to his horror that he had stumbled into Monica Lewinsky’s office with his trousers around his knees. As he was just about to pass out, she bent over him and heard her president whisper in a barely audible voice, “sack my cook”. And that is how the whole misunderstanding occurred.
- Chuck Norris smells what the Rock is cooking…… because the Rock is Chuck Norris’ personal chef.
- Q: What makes a chef sadder the skinnier it gets? A: An onion.
- Why did the cannibal chef rush to the Bryant helicopter crash scene? To get some fresh grass-fed Kobe beef.
- “Excuse me waiter, I didn’t order bacon bits on my pizza.”“No it’s not bacon. The chef just has eczema!”
- I’m looking to hire a Chef who is very frugal with herbs…No thyme wasters please!
- The chef at my local Chinese restaurant had a nasty fall at work, and was so badly injured he had to give up his job. He’ll never wok again.
- I got fired from my job as a chef for stealing kitchen equipment. … …. It’s a whisk I was willing to take.
- Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way. Although we cannoli do so much, he will forever be a pizza history. His wife? Cheese still not over it. Just goes to show here today, gone tomato. Lets send olive our prayers to the family.
- Favorite all time cooking shows: 1. Iron Chef 2. Hell’s Kitchen 3. Breaking bad
- Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way.
- What do two chefs do after they marry?They consommé the marriage.
- The police raided the kitchen of a restaurant where the chef was preparing Eggs Benedict.He was arrested for poaching.
- Did you hear about the Italian chef with a terminal illness?He pastaway. Cannoli do so much.Now he’s just a pizza history.