A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of alcohol, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms. “Now, class. Observe closely the worms,” said the professor putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be. The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail. “Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?” the professor asked. Little Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded… “Drink whiskey and you won’t get worms!”
- Commandment 1. Marriages are made in heaven. But so again are thunder and lightning. Commandment 2. If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep. Commandment 3. Marriage is grand — and divorce is at least 100 grand! Commandment 4. Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. Commandment 5. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is. Commandment 6. Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; The trouble starts when they try to decide which one. Commandment 7. Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish. Commandment 8. Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife. Commandment 9. Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry. That is why wife treats husband like toxic waste. Commandment 10. A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished..
- A chemistry instructor wanted to teach his ninth grade class about the evils of liquor, so he created an experiment to make the point. Producing two glasses and two small worms, he first poured a small amount of water into one of the glasses. Putting in the first worm, he asked the class to observe it carefully. Of course, the worm swam about happily — or as happy as a worm can be. Then he took the second glass, poured in a small amount of whiskey and dropped in the remaining worm. This worm writhed around painfully and sank to the bottom of the glass dead. “Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?”, the teacher asked. One kid had the answer right away, “Drink whiskey and you won’t get worms!”
- Better living through chemistry Table of Elements: C = carbon Ho = holmium Co =cobalt La = lanthanum Te = tellurium CHoCoLaTe – Better living through chemistry!
- THREE LAWS OF SCIENCE: 1. IF IT SMELLS BAD IT’S CHEMISTRY 2. IF ITS MUSHY IT’S BIOLOGY 3.IF IT DOESNT WORK ITS PHYSICS
- For all of those that think alcohol is a problem… according to Chemistry: Alcohol is a solution. Thanks science!
- I’d tell you a chemistry joke but I wouldn’t get a reaction.
- It’s so hard to think of another chemistry joke… All the good ones Argon.
- During Chemistry class, I learned that sulphur dioxide should never be poured into a metal container.It’s just an oxidant waiting to happen.