Cod Jokes

What did the fisherman say to the street magician? Pick a cod, any cod!

Q: How do spies send secret messages in a forest? A: By moss code.

We’ve all had the annoying experience of calling up a hotline and waiting on the phone for eons to hear all the choices the lucky touch-tone dialers receive. Well, think how frustrating that would be if you were calling the…. PSYCHIATRIC HOTLINE The telephone rings and an answering machine answers… “Welcome to the psychiatric hotline.” If you are obsessive compulsive, please press one repeatedly. If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2. If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6. If you are paranoid/delusional, we know who you are, what you want, just stay on the line so that we can trace your call. If you are a schizophrenic, listen carefully, and a little voice will tell you which number to press. If your are manic depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press….no one will answer any way.

Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11……. a suicide.

Q: What do get if you cross a parrot and a crocodile? A: An animal that talks your head off.

Guantuanamo Bay, Cuba, is the military code-word for “Chuck Norris’ basement”.

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in South Louisiana. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up onhis tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, “I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I’m going into retrieve it.” The old farmer replied. “This is my property, and you are not coming over here.” The indignant lawyer said, “I am one of the best trial attorneys in the U.S. and, if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything you own.” The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we do things in Louisiana. We rule ourselves under the Napoleonic Code. We settle small disagreements like this with the Louisiana Three Kick Rule.” The lawyer asked, “What is the Louisiana Three Kick Rule?” The Farmer replied. “Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up.” The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the city feller. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer’s groin and dropped him to his knees where he immediately vomited. The geezer’s second kick nearly ripped the man’s nose off his face. The barrister was flat on his belly when the farmer’s third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up. The lawyer summoned every bit of his dark heart, vengeful will and managed to get to his feet and said, “Okay, you old coot now it’s my turn.” The old farmer smiled and said, “Naw, I give up. You can have the duck.”

Q: What did the fisherman say to the card magician? A: Pick a cod, any cod!

A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past and looks up and says to the monkey, “Hey! What are you doing?” The monkey says, “Smoking a joint, come up and have some.” So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have a few tokes together. After a while the lizard says his mouth is ‘dry’ and that he’s going to get a drink from the river. The lizard climbs down the tree, ditty bops on thru the jungle to the river and leans over the river to get his drink. Well, the lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the lizard, “What’s the matter with you?” The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in a tree and smoking a joint with the monkey and got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink. The crocodile says he’s gotta check this hippie monkey out and walks off into the jungle where he finds the tree where the monkey is still sitting and toking on the joint. He looks up and says “hey you!” The Monkey looks down and says, “ffuuucccckkkk dude………….how much water did you drink?!!”

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Wairarapa. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.The litigator responded, “I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I’m going to retrieve it.” The old farmer replied, “This is my property, and you are not coming over here.” The indignant lawyer said, “I am one of the best trial attorneys in New Zealand and, if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything you own.” The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we settle disputes in North Wairarapa. We settle small disagreements like this with the ‘Three Kick Rule.’” The lawyer asked, “What is the ‘Three Kick Rule’?” The Farmer replied, “Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up.” The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer’s groin and dropped him to his knees! His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer’s last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer’s third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie. The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and remaining strength and very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, “Okay, you old fart. Now it’s my turn.” The old farmer smiled and said, “Nah, I give up. You can have the duck.”

5 surgeons are taking a coffee break: 1st surgeon says, “Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.” 2nd surgeon says, “Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order.” 3rd surgeon says, “Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is color coded.” 4th surgeon says, “I prefer lawyers. They’re heartless, spineless, gutless, and their heads and butts are interchangeable.” 5th surgeon says, “I like engineers … they always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end.”

Q: Why are crocodiles brown and flat? A: Because if they were yellow and round, they’d be lemons.

At New York’s Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez said he believes the man is a member of the notorious al-Gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. Al-Gebra is a fearsome cult,” Gonzalez said. “They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like ‘x’ and ‘y’ and refer to themselves as ‘unknowns’, but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, ‘there are 3 sides to every triangle”. When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, “If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes”.

There was a man who said, “I never knew what happiness was until I got married…and then it was too late!” Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock. They say when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage, it is self-defense. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through hell. A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend’s girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal. There are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonorable behavior. Unless she’s really attractive. — Bruce Friedman A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage. — Marvin Kitman A gentleman is one who never swears at his wife while ladies are present. A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke. A husband is what’s left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted. -Marriage quotes2// Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out. Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it. Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred. Marriage is the sole cause of divorce. Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity. Marriage still confers one very special privilege – only a married person can get divorced. Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and around the hands and feet of the man. Marriage: the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy the license. Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth.

This is a test for Intelligent People. I have determined that you qualify. The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and will tell you if you are qualified to be a professional. Scroll down for each answer. The questions are NOT that difficult. But don’t scroll down UNTIL you have answered the question! 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tested whether you tend to do simple things In an overly complicated way. 2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? Did you say, Open the refrigerator, Put in the elephant, And close the Refrigerator? Wrong Answer. Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, Put in the elephant and close the door. This tested your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions. 3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend….except one. Which animal does not attend? Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tested your memory. Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, You still have one more chance to show your true abilities. 4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage? Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the animal conference. This tested whether you learn quickly from your mistakes. According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong, but many preschoolers got several correct answers. AndersonConsulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a four-year-old.

A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past and looks up and says to the monkey “Hey! What are you doing?” The monkey says “Smoking a joint, come up and have some.” So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they share a joint. After a while the lizard says his mouth is ‘dry’ and is going to get a drink from the river. The lizard climbs down the tree, walks thru the jungle to the river and leans over the river to get his drink. The lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the lizard, “What’s the matter with you?” The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with a monkey in a tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink. The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the jungle, finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint. He looks up and says “Hey you!” The Monkey looks down and says, “Duuuuuuuuuude…….how much water did you drink?!”

Dress Code: 1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary. 2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. 3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. 4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise. Sick Days: We will no longer accept a doctor’s statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. Personal Days: Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays. Bereavement Leave: This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early. Bathroom Breaks: Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the “Chronic Offenders” category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company’s mental health policy. Lunch Break: (Love this one) * Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. * Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. * Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that’s all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast. Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

12. Specifications are for the weak and timid! 11. This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code! 10. You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you’ve read it in the original Klingon. 9. Indentation?! — I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull! 8. What is this talk of ‘release’? Klingons do not make software ‘releases’. Our software ‘escapes’ leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake. 7. Klingon function calls do not have ‘parameters’ — they have ‘arguments’ — and they ALWAYS WIN THEM. 6. Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak. 5. I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a Bat-Leth contest. They will not concern us again. 4. A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code! 3. By filing this SPR you have challenged the honor of my family. Prepare to die! 2. You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand! 1. Our users will know fear and cower before our software. Ship it! Ship it, and let them flee like the dogs they are!

There was an old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, “If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I’ll quit! “Everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say instead that they had “fallen.” This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well until the priest passed away at a ripe, old age. A few days after the new priest arrived, he visited the mayor of the town and seemed very concerned. “Mayor, you have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep telling me they’ve fallen.” The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the new priest about the code word. But, before he could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at him and shouted, “I don’t know what you’re laughing about, because your wife has already fallen three times this week!”

Pet Shop Monkeys A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, another customer walked in and went over to a cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey. He fit a collar and leash, handed it to the customer, saying, “That’ll be $5000.” The customer paid and walked out with his monkey. Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said, “That was a very expensive monkey. Most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did it cost so much?” The shopkeeper answered, “Ah, that monkey can program in C – very fast, tight code, no bugs, well worth the money.” The tourist looked at the monkey in another cage. “That one’s even more expensive – $10,000! What does it do?” “Oh, that one’s a C++ monkey; it can manage object-oriented programming, Visual C++, even some Java. All the really useful stuff,” said the shopkeeper. The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey in a cage of its own. The price tag around its neck read $50,000. He gasped to the shopkeeper, “That one costs more than all the others put together! What on earth does it do?” The shopkeeper replied, “Well, I haven’t actually seen it do anything, but it says it’s a consultant.”

Understanding the Signs Over the years, my husband and I have usually managed to decode the cute but confusing gender signs sometimes put on restaurants’ restroom doors (Buoys and Gulls, Laddies and Lassies, etc.), but every so often we get stumped. Recently my husband Dave wandered off in search of the men’s room and found himself confronted by two marked doors. One was labeled “Bronco,” and the other was designated “Cactus.” Completely baffled, he stopped a restaurant employee passing by. “Excuse me; I need to use the restroom,” Dave said. Gesturing toward the doors, he asked, “Which one should I use?” “Actually, we would prefer you to go there,” the employee said, pointing to a door down the hall marked “Men.” “Bronco and Cactus are private dining rooms.”

A lady Canadian libertarian wrote a lot of letters to the government, complaining about the treatment of captive insurgents (terrorists) being held in Afghanistan National Correctional System facilities. She received the following reply: National Defence Headquarters MGen George R. Pearkes Bldg, 15 NT 101 Colonel By Drive Ottawa , ON K1A 0K2 Canada Dear Concerned Citizen, Thank you for your recent letter expressing your profound concern of treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda terrorists captured by Canadian Forces who were subsequently transferred to the Afghanistan Government and are currently being held by Afghan officials in Afghanistan National Correctional System facilities. Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinions were heard loud and clear here in Ottawa . You will be pleased to learn, thanks to the concerns of citizens like yourself; we are creating a new department here at the Department of National Defence, to be called ‘Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers’ program, or L.A.R.K. for short. In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to divert one terrorist and place him in your personal care. Your personal detainee has been selected and is scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence in Toronto next Monday. Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed) is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of complaint. It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommend in your letter. Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his ‘attitudinal problem’ will help him overcome these character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. We understand that you plan to offer counselling and home schooling. Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. We advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these skills at your next yoga group. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless (in your opinion) this might offend him. Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters (except sexually) since he views females as a subhuman form of property. This is a particularly sensitive subject for him and he has been known to show violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the new dress code that he will recommend as more appropriate attire. I’m sure you will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the burka over time. Just remember that it is all part of ‘respecting his culture and religious beliefs’ as described in your letter. Thanks again for your concern. We truly appreciate it when folks like you keep us informed of the proper way to do our job and care for our fellow man. You take good care of Ahmed and remember we’ll be watching. Good luck and God bless you. Cordially, Gordon O’Connor

A newlywed couple returned to their apartment after being on their honeymoon. “Care to go upstairs and do it?” the husband asked. “Shh!” said the bride “All the neighbors will know what we’re about to do. These walls are paper thin. In the future, we’ll have to ask each other in code. For example, how about asking, ‘Have you left the washing machine door open’ instead?” So, the following night, the husband asks, “I don’t suppose you left the washing machine door open, did you?” “No, I definitely shut it,” replied the wife who rolled over and fell asleep. When she woke up however, she was feeling a little frisky herself and she nudged her husband and said, “I think I did leave the washing machine door open after all. Would you like to do some washing?” “No, thanks,” said the husband. “It was only a small load so I did it by hand.”

Shopping Dividers I was checking out at the local Foodland with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those “dividers” that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn’t get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the divider, looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code, she said to me, “Do you know how much this is?” I said, “I’ve changed my mind, I don’t think I’ll buy that today…” She said, “OK,” and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue what had just happened…

PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE THE MORSE CODE : When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY ELECTION RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters: LIES – LET’S RECOUNT SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z ‘S A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: IM A DOT IN PLACE THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE: MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER

Beatles Computer Song – Let It Be When I find my code in tons of trouble, Friends and colleagues come to me, Speaking words of wisdom: Write in C. As the deadline fast approaches, And bugs are all that I can see, Somewhere, someone whispers: Write in C. Write in C, write in C, Write in C, oh, write in C. LOGO’s dead and buried, Write in C. I used to write a lot of FORTRAN, For science it worked flawlessly. Try using it for graphics! Write in C. If you’ve just spent nearly 30 hours, Debugging some assembly, Soon you will be glad to Write in C. Write in C, Write in C, Write in C, yeah, Write in C. BASIC’s not the answer. Write in C. Write in C, Write in C Write in C, oh, Write in C. Pascal won’t quite cut it. Write in C.

From: Chief of Operations Subject: Proper Narrative Descriptions It has come to our attention from several emergency rooms that many EMS narratives have taken a decidedly creative direction lately. Effective immediately, all members are to refrain from using slang and abbreviations to describe patients, such as the following. a.. Cardiac patients should not be referred to as suffering from MUH (messed up heart), PBS (pretty bad shape), PCL (pre-code looking) or HIBGIA (had it before, got it again). b.. Stroke patients are NOT “Charlie Carrots.” Nor are rescuers to use CCFCCP(Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs) to describe their mental state. c.. Trauma patients are not CATS (cut all to sh*t), FDGB (fall down, go boom), TBC (total body crunch) or “hamburger helper.” Similarly, descriptions of a car crash do not have to include phrases like “negative vehicle to vehicle interface” or “terminal deceleration syndrome.” d.. HAZMAT teams are highly trained professionals, not “glow worms.” e.. Persons with altered mental states as a result of drug use are not considered “pharmaceutically gifted.” f.. Gunshot wounds to the head are not “trans-occipital implants.” g.. The homeless are not “urban outdoorsmen,” nor is endotracheal intubation referred to as a “PVC Challenge.” h.. And finally, do not refer to recently deceased persons as being “paws up,” ART (assuming room temperature), CC (Cancel Christmas), CTD (circling the drain), DRT (dead right there) or NLPR (no long playing records). I know you will all join me in respecting the cultural diversity of our patients to include their medical orientations in creating proper narratives and log entries.

Someone out there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble. (wait till you see the last one!) DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z ‘S A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: IM A DOT IN PLACE THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE: PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA: When you rearrange the letters (With no letters left over and using each letter only once): TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS Yep! Someone with waaaaaaaaaaay too much time on their hands!

Premature Ejaculation Dinner & Dance Night.Dress Code: Just come in your pants!

It’s the annual premature ejaculators ball tomorrow night…There’s no dress code, just come in your pants!

It’s the annual premature ejaculators ball tonight…There’s no dress code, just come in your pants!

The Egyptians claim there are no crocodiles in their country..I think they’re in de Nile!

How do you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?You will see one later and one in a while!

Halloween Dress Code: Men: super hero, monster, funny thing, famous people. Women: super whore, monster whore, funny whore, famous whore

They could put nuclear missile launch codes in porn movie end credits and they’d still be perfectly safe.

It’s complicated” is just code for, “I’m willing to cheat.”

Inventor of the bar code dies at 91. Several burial attempts will be made before a manager is called to enter him into the ground manually.

How do you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator? You will see one later and one in a while.

How did Vikings communicate centuries ago?They used Norse code!

What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes?Re-Morse code.

Why do the Norwegians put barcodes on their battleships?So they can Scandinavian.

Bros don’t let other bros walk around with an open fly.It’s called the zip code.

The Egyptians claim there are no crocodiles in their country.I think they’re in de Nile.

What do you call an apology written in dots and lines?A Re-Morse Code.

What did the magician say to the fisherman?Pick a cod, any cod.

What’s the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?One you’ll see later and the other you’ll meet after a while.

What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes?Re-Morse code.

The Egyptians claim there are no crocodiles in their country.I think they’re in de Nile.