Deodorant Jokes

  • A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. The man replied, “Well your Honor, it was like this, when the lady got on the bus, I couldn’t help but notice her condition. She sat down under a sign that said, ‘The Double Mint Twins are coming’ and I grinned. Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, ‘ Logan ‘s Liniment will reduce the swelling,’ and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, “William’s Big Stick Did the Trick,” and I could hardly contain myself. But, Your Honor, when She moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, ‘Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident’… I just lost it.” “CASE DISMISSED!!”

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  • The blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some bottom deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don’t sell bottom deodorant, and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like some more. “I’m sorry,” says the pharmacist, “we don’t have any.” “But I always get it here,” says the blonde. “Do you have the container it comes in?” “Yes!” said the blonde, “I will go and get it.” She returns with the container and hands it to the chemist who looks at it and says to her, “This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant.” The annoyed blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container, “To apply, push up bottom.”
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  • This lady found out her dog could hardly hear so she took it to the veterinarian. He found that the problem was hair in its ears. He cleaned both ears and the dog could hear fine. The vet then proceeded to tell the lady that if she wanted to keep this from recurring she should go to the store and get some “Nair” hair remover and rub it in the dog’s ears once a month. The lady goes to the drug store and gets some “Nair” hair remover. At the register the druggist tells her, “If you’re going to use this under your arms don’t use deodorant for a few days.” The lady says: “I’m not using it under my arms.” The druggist says: “If you’re using it on your legs don’t shave for a couple of days.” The lady says: “I’m not using it on my legs either; if you must know, I’m using it on my schnauzer..” The druggist says: “Stay off your bicycle for at least a week.”
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  • Lily went to a nearby pharmacy to buy her partner some deodorant.

    A salesclerk comes up to her and asks what she’s looking for.

    “I’m looking for some deodorant for my boyfriend, but I don’t know what kind he uses.”

    “Is it the ball type?”

    “No,” she replied. “It’s for his armpits.”

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  • My new years resolution is to stop using aerosol deodorants…Roll on 2022!
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  • I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth…Now when I talk, I have this weird axe scent!
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  • I was about to go to a fancy dress party as a can of deodorant. My wife stopped me and said, “Are you Sure?”
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  • I’ve decided from Monday that I’ll stop using spray deodorants…Roll on next week!
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  • My new years resolution is to stop using aerosol deodorants…Roll on 2023!
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  • I’ve just bought that new Lynx deodorant breadcrumb edition. The birds can’t get enough of me!
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  • I said to my Doctor, “I’ve become a can of deodorant.” He said, “Are you sure?” I replied, “No, I’m Lynx.”
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  • Some Warning Labels are a little retarded, like on my Deodorant it says, “Avoid Contact with Eyes”….TOO LATE, I’ve already seen it!!!
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  • Spring has Sprung and Summer is Here , Temperatures are a Rising that means you’ll be Perspiring , Keep you Deodorant handy and your Panty Liners near cause Soggy Bottom Undies are something we all FEAR
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  • Keep reaching for the stars but get a better deodorant.
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  • This lady in Walgreens is staring at me like she’s never seen anyone put on deodorant and then put it back on the shelf.
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  • My friend once used laughing gas as deodorant.He smelled funny the whole day.
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  • I accidently sprayed deodorant in my mouth.Now when I talk I have this weird axe scent.
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  • I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth.Now when I talk, I have this weird axe scent.
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  • I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth.Now when I talk I have this weird axe scent.
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