Mrs. Peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher quit working. He couldn’t accommodate her with an “after-hours” appointment and since she had to go to work, she told him, “I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dish washer, leave the bill on the counter, and I’ll mail you a check. By the way, I have a large rotweiler inside named Killer; he won’t bother you. I also have a parrot, and whatever you do, do not talk to the bird!” Well, sure enough the dog, Killer, totally ignored the repairman, but the whole time he was there, the parrot cursed, yelled, screamed, and about drove him nuts. As he was ready to leave, he couldn’t resist saying, “You stupid bird, why don’t you shut up!” To which the bird replied, “Killer, get him!!!”
- Apparently, only 95% of men know how to turn on a dishwasher…Personally I always find that licking her nipples does the trick!
- My girlfriend gave me three subtle hints about what she would like for her birthday: It begins with a D’ It vibrates It’s a girl’s best friend I’m pretty certain I know exactly what she’s getting at. A new dishwasher.
- Best Fortune cookie ever: “Person expecting sound advice from stale cookie probably make good dishwasher. Ask manager for application.”
- The sound of thunder is no longer Thor’s hammer. It’s a pissed-off Lady-Thor stomping round Asgard and noisily filling the dishwasher while she waits for someone to ask her what’s wrong…
- I got fired from my job at the restaurant for putting a load in the dishwasher… she was cute.