Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea. As he sat facing her old pump organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water. In the water floated, of all things, a condom! When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist. “Miss Beatrice”, he said. “I wonder if you would tell me about this?” pointing to the bowl. “Oh, yes” she replied, “isn’t it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven’t had the flu all winter?”
- The old man in his mid-eighties struggles to get up from the couch then starts putting on his coat. His wife, seeing the unexpected behavior, asks, “Where are you going?” He replies, “I’m going to the doctor.” She says, “Why, are you sick?” He says, “Nope, I’m going to get me some of that Viagra stuff.” Immediately the wife starts working and positioning herself to get out of her rocker and begins to put on her coat. He says, “Where the hell are you going”? She answers, “I’m going to the doctor, too.” He says, “Why, what do you need?” She says, “If you’re going to start using that rusty old thing, I’m getting a tetanus shot.”