Ginger Jokes

Why do Irishmen drink all the time? You would too if you were a ginger

Why do gingers always have such frizzy hair? You would too if you had no reflection.

Jimmie, an 80-year-old gentleman, retired to Florida after his wife of 58 years had passed away. He was quite alone in the world and longed for companionship. One day, as he was walking through a public park, he spied what he considered to be a very pretty silver-haired lady sitting alone on a park bench. Getting his nerve up, he approached the lady and asked graciously, “Pardon me, ma’am, but may I sit here with you.” The silver-haired Marcia looked up to see a distinguished looking white-haired gentleman and replied, “Why certainly,” and scooted over gently to give him room to sit down. For the next two hours the two sat and talked about everything. They discovered that they came from the same part of the country, liked the same big band music, voted for the same presidential candidates, had had long happy marriages and lost their spouses in the last year, and in general agreed about almost everything. Finally, the old gentleman cleared his throat and asked sheepishly, “Ma’am, may I ask you two questions?” With great anticipation Marcia replied, “Why certainly!” The old gentleman removed a handkerchief from his coat pocket and spread it out on the ground before her. He very gingerly got down on one knee and looked her softly in the eyes. “Marcia, I know we’ve only known each other for a couple of hours, but we have so much in common. I feel I have known you all my life. Will you marry me and be my wife?” Marcia grabbed at Jimmie’s hands and said, “Why, yes, I will marry you! You have made me so very happy!” She reached over and kissed him gently on the cheek. Then Marcia said, “You said you had two questions to ask me. What is the second question?” Jimmie scratched his neck and said, “Will you help me get up?”

A ginger man finds a magic lamp and when he rubs it a genie pops out. “Ah, hell,” says the genie, “What do you want?” The ginger says, “I want a huge mansion with a hundred rooms and twenty floors, all made of pure gold.” The genie looks at him and says, “don’t be an idiot, do you have any idea how much gold that would take? That’s impossible. Pick something else.” So the ginger says, “I want everyone to stop making fun of my hair colour.” The genie says, “So this mansion, you want suite bathrooms?”

72-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with normal results. The doctor says, ‘Jerry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?’ Jerry replies, ‘God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he’s fixed it for when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, *poof*!, the light goes on. When I’m done, *poof*!, the light goes off.’ ‘Wow, that’s incredible,’ the doctor says. A little later in the day, the doctor calls Jerry’s wife. ‘ Ginger ,’ he says, ‘Jerry is doing fine but I had to call you because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and *poof *!, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he’s done, *poof*! the light goes off?’ ‘OH MY GOD!’ Ginger exclaims. ‘He’s peeing in the fridge again!!!!’

How do you stop a ginger from drowning? Take your foot off the back of his head.

How do you stop a ginger from drowning? You throw him a lifesaver and tell him to grab on to it.

I said to my son, “Where are you going tonight all dressed up?” He said “I’m off to meet a girl.” I said, “Don’t forget to wear a, you know!” “Wear a what dad?” he said. “You know, put a hat on,” I said. “Do you mean a condom Dad?” he said. “No I mean a hat you ginger twat!”

I was struggling on a crossword. 5 across, 6 letters: ‘Someone who has not had sexual intercourse yet’_ I _ G _ _Oh hang, just got it….GINGER

I was strip searched by the police. It started out as a routine stop, but I lied and said I had some coke up my arse. They then took me down the station and gave me the full works, fingers up and instruments in…I feel bad but how else is a gay ginger meant to get some action?

I said to my son “Where are you going tonight all dressed up?” He said “I’m off to meet a new girl” I said “Don’t forget to wear a, you know” “Wear a what dad?” he said. “You know, put a hat on” I said. “Do you mean a condom Dad?” he said. “No I mean a hat you ginger twat!”

There was a ginger guy using the self-checkout in Tesco earlier and the machine said, “Unexpected item in the bagging area.”Condom!

Rearrange these words: 1) PNEIS 2) HTILER 3) NGGERI 4) BUTTSXE Did you read……….Spine, Lither, Ginger and Subtext?

What do you call a ginger kid who’s good at martial arts?The Carroty Kid!

It’s a disgrace that gingerbread men are forced to live in houses made of their own flesh.