1st Police Officer: “Guess who I pulled over in a traffic stop the other day?” 2nd Police Officer: “Who?” 1st Police Officer: “Janet Jackson!” 2nd Police Officer: “What did she do? Was she speeding?” 1st Police Officer: “Nah, she had one headlight out.”
- A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order. He said, “I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and pair of running boards.” The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, “This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards. What does he think this place is, an auto parts store?” “No,” the cook said. “Three flat tires mean three pancakes, a pair of headlights is two eggs sunny side up, and running boards are 2 slices of crisp bacon.” “Oh, OK!” said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer. The trucker asked, “What are the beans for, Blondie?” She replied, “I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!”
- A young man at his first job as a waiter in a diner has a large trucker sit down at the counter and order, “Gimme 3 flat tires and a couple of headlights.” Bewildered he goes to the kitchen and tells the cook, “I think this guy’s in the wrong store, look at what he ordered!” The cook says, “He wants 3 pancakes & 2 eggs sunny-side up.” The waiter takes a bowl of beans to the trucker. He looks at it and growls, “What’s this? I didn’t order this!” The young man tells him, “The cook says that while you’re waiting for your parts you might as well gas up!”
- john was driving then he cut off gary. gary pulled him over, drew a circle on the ground and put john in the circle. once john was in the circle gary went to his car and pulled out a bat. he started to break all of the headlights on john car then he looked aver and john was cracking up so he broke all of the windows andlooked over at john who was still cracking up. he finnally asked him what was so funny and john said while you were busting up my car…i stepped out of the circle 4 times
- A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order. He said, “I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards.” The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, “This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards. What does he think this place is … an auto parts store?” “No,” the cook said. “Three flats tires means three pancakes, a pair of headlights is two eggs sunny side up, and running boards are 2 slices crisp bacon.” “Oh, OK!” said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer. The trucker asked, “What are the beans for, Blondie?” She replied, “I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up.”
- OK, I’m the only female in a house full of guys. 4 sons and a hubby. Toilet seat is never down…etc. SOOOOoooooooooo I’m the only one who would be using Female products…..correct? A STRANGE thing was happening at my house. Tampons were disappearing. * Insert Twilight Zone theme here * Ok….A few months ago I went to my cupboard to get out a tampon and there was ONLY one left. I could have sworn I had just bought a box the month before. So, I go back to the store, buy a new box and forget about it. The next month (T.O.M) I go back to the cupboard…..and VOILA….there is only ONE tampon left again. What’s going on here? Gremlins??? I go to the store and buy another box, and forget about it. WELL…..I decided to clean out my two youngest sons closet and LOW and BEHOLD….at the bottom of their closet are the wrappers, applicators and the tampons themselves. I am starting to FREAK!!! Dear God, what are they doing with them?????? I get a hold of myself and tell myself that I am an adult and can handle this, despite the bizarre thoughts running through my mind. I’m thinking, “Do I have enough money saved up in the bank for MAJOR THERAPY?” I go to the top of the stairs and yell for my two youngest sons to “COME HERE!!!!” They march up the stairs and find me in their room staring into the bottom of their closet. I said “What are you doing with THOSE? THOSE are MINE!” My 12 year old looks like a deer caught in the headlights and is silent. My 10 year old looks at me all innocent and says. “Well, Mom, we were playing with our G.I. Joes and stuff… and THOSE make really good SCUD missiles… What do YOU use them for?” “NEVER MIND!! GO PLAY!!!!”
- A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order. He said, “I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards.” The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, “This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running Boards. What does he think this place is, an auto parts store?” “No,” the cook said, “Three flat tires mean three pancakes, a pair of headlights is two eggs sunny side up, and running boards are 2 slices of crisp bacon.” “Oh, OK!” said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer. The trucker asked, “What are the beans for, Blondie?” She replied, “I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!”
- I read that, by law, you have to turn on your headlights when it’s raining in Sweden…How the fuck am I supposed to know if it’s raining in Sweden?
- I heard that by law you need to turn on your headlights when it’s raining in Sweden.How the hell am I supposed to know when it’s raining in Sweden?