A kangaroo walks into a bar. He orders a beer. The bartender says, That’ll be $10. You know, we don’t get many kangaroos coming in here. The kangaroo says, At $10 a beer, it’s not hard to understand.
- Q: What did the kangaroo say when her baby was missing? A: Help! My pocket’s been picked!
- What did the kangaroo say when her baby was missing? Help! My pocket’s been picked!
- Q: What goes up but doesn’t come down? A: A kangaroo stuck in a tree.
- What goes up but doesn’t come down? A kangaroo stuck in a tree.
- An American woman of 40 wants to get married, but she is only willing to marry a man if he has never been with a woman. After several unsuccessful years of searching, she decides to take out a personal ad. She ends up corresponding with a man who has lived his entire life in the Australian outback. They end up getting married. On their wedding night, she goes into the bathroom to prepare for the festivities. When she returns to the bedroom, she finds her new husband standing in the middle of the room, naked and all the furniture from the room piled in one corner. “What happened?” she asks. “I’ve never been with a woman,” he says, “but if it’s anything like a kangaroo, I’m gonna need all the room I can get!”
- When we were vacationing in New Zealand, I bought myself a back-scratcher made from a Kangaroo claw. … … The only downside is when I use it on myself, I end up feeling jumpy the rest of the day.
- What do you call a kangaroo wearing a sweater.A wooly jumper.
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo?A pouch potato.
- Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?Because their kids want to play inside.