Q: Why was the young bear so spoiled? A: Because his mother “panda’d” to his every whim!
- A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down, and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun, and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, “Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter, and you didn’t even pay for your sandwich!” “Hey, man, I’m a PANDA!” the panda shouts back. “Look it up!” The manager opens his dictionary and reads: “Panda: a tree-dwelling mammal of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.”
- A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up stretches and pulls out a gun shooting everyone in the room but the bartender. The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopedia. The bartender looks up panda and he reads “Panda: Large black and white mammal native to China. Eats shoots and leaves.”!
- A panda walked into a bar. He went up to the bar and said “I’d like a steak and kidney pie and a Coke please” so the barman took his order and the panda went to sit down. Soon a waiter brought over his meal. The panda ate it up, thanked and tipped the waiter and paid the bill. All this seemed pretty normal until the panda pulled out a gun from the depths of his fur, pulled the trigger and BANG! shot the waiter. The barman came over and said “Wha.. wh.. You just shot my friend!!!” the panda calmly replied “Do you know what I am?” “Why yes,” the barman answered. “Your a panda.” “Good,” the panda nodded “Now go home and look up ‘panda’ in the dictionary.” And with that, the panda walked out of the bar. The barman was a little unsure, however he was very eager to be enlighted on the subject of his friend’s murder, so he went home to find his dictionary. After a while, he found ‘panda’ and quickly read the definition: PANDA:1. A black and white bear native to China. Eats shoots and leaves.
- A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down, and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun, and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, “Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter, and you didn’t even pay for your sandwich!””Hey, man, I’m a PANDA!” the panda shouts back. “Look it up!”The manager opens his dictionary and reads: “Panda: a tree-dwellingmammal of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and whitecoloring. Eats shoots and leaves.”
- McDonalds are now incorporating meat from endangered species into their burgers…Just had a quarter panda!
- To start a zoo, you need at least two pandas, a grizzly and three polars….That’s the bear minimum!
- Who was the marketing genius who decided to call killer whales “killer whales” instead of “sea pandas”???
- The World Cup starts next week. A wildlife center in China says that its baby panda will correctly predict the outcome of the World Cup games. When asked what will happen, the panda said, “None of the stadiums will be ready and all the games will be canceled.”
- What does a panda use to make pancakes?a pan…duh!
- Apparently to start a zoo you need at least two pandas, a grizzly and three polars.It’s the bear minimum.