Password Jokes

10. The monitor is up on blocks. 9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them. 8. The six front keys have rotted out. 7. The extra RAM slots have Ford truck parts stored in them. 6. The numeric keypad only goes up to six. 5. The password is “Bubba”. 4. There’s a gun rack mounted on the CPU. 3. There’s a Skoal can in the CD-ROM drive. 2. The keyboard is painted in camouflage. And the number #1 way to tell if a redneck has been working on your computer is…. 1. The mouse is referred to as a “critter”…..

Funny helpdesk chat transcripts: Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have? Female customer: A white one… ——————————————————————– Hi, this is Celine. I can’t get my diskette out. Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button? Customer: Yes, sure, it’s really stuck. Helpdesk: That doesn’t sound good; I’ll make a note ….” Customer: No … wait a minute… I hadn’t inserted it yet… it’s still on my desk… sorry …….. ——————————————————————– Helpdesk: Click on the ‘my computer’ icon on to the left of the screen. Customer: Your left or my left? ———————————————————— Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you? Male customer: Hello… I can’t print. Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and .. Customer: Listen pal; don’t start getting technical on me! I’m not Bill Gates! ——————————————————————– Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can’t print. Every time I try it says ‘Can’t find printer’. I’ve even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can’t find it… ——————————————————————– Helpdesk: What’s on your monitor now ma’am? Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket. ——————————————————————– Helpdesk: And now hit F8. Customer: It’s not working. Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly? Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing’s happening… ——————————————————————– Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore. Helpdesk: Are you sure it’s plugged into the computer? Customer: No. I can’t get behind the computer. Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back. Customer: OK Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you? Customer: Yes Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard? Customer: Yes, there’s another one here. Ah…that one does work! ——————————————————————– Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7. Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters? ——————————————————————- A customer couldn’t get on the internet. Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password? Customer: Yes I’m sure. I saw my colleague do it. Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was? Customer: Five stars. ——————————————————————– Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use? Customer: Netscape. Helpdesk: That’s not an antivirus program. Customer: Oh, sorry…Internet Explorer. ——————————————————————– Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears! ——————————————————————– Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you? Old woman: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you. Can you please tell me how long it will take before you can help me? Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don’t understand your problem? Old woman: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4 hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me? ——————————————————————– Helpdesk: How may I help you? Customer: I’m writing my first e-mail. Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem? Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the circle around it.

Back in the early 80’s Chevy Chase was one of the stars on Password. Toward the end of the game this black woman was ahead in points so she and Chevy were paired togetherfor the final part. He said the key word and she responded. Like this… he said calf, she said cow. Then it was kid, and she said goat. Finally he said doe, she said knob. Chevy busted into laughter…. He laughed so hard they didnt even get the chance to finish the game. Doe…Knob

During a recent password audit, our I.T. discovered a blonde was using the following password: MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento When they asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.

I set my wifi password to 2444666668888888…Then, if any one asks, I just say 12345678!

Husband: Call an ambulance, fast! I am having heart attack!Wife (Took his mobile): Quick! Tell me the password!Husband: It’s ok! I’m feeling better now!

My dad told me his password is: MickeyMinnieGoofyDonaldPlutoHueyLouieDeweyDublin.When I asked why, he said, “Because I was told my password had to contain 8 characters and at least one Capital!”

My girlfriend asked me to check a notification on her phone. I asked her what her password was and she said it was easy – her birthday…Fucking hell. Please help!

My online banking password has been hacked again…This will be the third time I’ve had to rename the dog!

“What’s the Wifi password?”“snowwhiteandthesevendwarfs”“Why is the password so long?”“It said it requires 8 characters!”

My Twitter password has been hacked again…This will be the third time I’ve had to rename the dog!

During a recent password audit at work the following password came to light: MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyBerlin.The employee was asked why he had such a long password. He said, “I was told it had to be at least 8 characters long and include one capital!”

My email password has been hacked again…That’s the third time I’ve had to rename the cat!

I just changed my Facebook password to ’14 days’ but it said it was Too weak

I needed a password at least eight characters long … … so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs…

What if you woke up with amnesia and all you could remember was your Facebook password and you had to discover who you were based on your statuses?

Someone figured out my password. Now I have to rename my dog.

I tried to change my password to Twilight. But there was an error saying it contained too many useless characters.

How long after walking into someone’s house is it acceptable to ask for their WiFi password?

Just phished Forest Gump’s Facebook password, it’s: 1Forest1

I have to start remembering my passwords, I have renamed the dog so many times he just looks at me with disgust now.

A Russian crime ring has stolen 1.2 billion user names and password combinations, which I’m pretty sure is all of them. The crime ring stole the information from hundreds of thousands of websites. Experts recommend that you change all your passwords just to be safe. I have to say I would almost rather have all my information stolen than to have to change all my passwords.

Note to self: don’t set your password reminder as “you should know this”

Sorry, but your password must contain an uppercase letter, a number, a haiku, a gang sign, a hieroglyph, a feather off a hawk and the blood of a unicorn.

What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1.

Step 1 Change your Wi-Fi password to “blowmefirst.” Step 2 Wait for someone to ask you for it.

When you’re at someone’s house: Normal people: “What a lovely house!” Me: “What’s your WiFi password?”

I do have a life outside of Facebook, but I don’t remember the password for it.

I’m not calling you a slut, But if you had a password for your vagina it would be “1234”

What is Forest Gump’s email password? 1forest1

Apparently you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.

I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.

The worst thing about hackers finding your password is having to rename your dog!

My dad told me his password is: MickeyMinnieGoofyDonaldPlutoHueyLouieDeweyDublin.Because he was told his password had to contain 8 characters and at least one Capital.

Don’t use beef stew as a computer password.It’s not stroganoff.

My email password got hacked again.That’s the third time I’ve had to rename the cat.

I tried to use “fortnight” as a password.The website said it’s two week.

My dad told me his password is: MickeyMinnieGoofyDonaldPlutoHuey LouieDewevDublin.Because he was told his password had to contain 8 characters and at least one Capital.

If your workplace requires password changes every 90 days……Just set it to the name of the current UK Prime minister and you should be fine.