An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he called his grandson to his bed. “Grandson I wanna you lisin to me. I want for you to take my chrome plated 38 revolver so you will always remember me.” “But grandpa I really don’t like guns, how about you leaving me your Rolex watch instead. ” “You lisina to me, soma day you goin a be runna da bussiness, you goina have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big home and maybe a couple of bambino.” “Soma day you goina coma home and maybe finda you wife in bed with another man. What do you do than? Point to your watch and say TIMES UP?”
- An old Italian Mafia ‘Don’ is dying and he calls his grandson into his bedroom. ‘Lissin-a me. I wanna for you to taka my chrome plated 38 revolver so you will always remember me.’ ‘But grandpa, I really don’t lika guns. Howzabout you leava me your Rolex watch instead?’ ‘Shuddup an lissin. Somma day you gonna runna da business…..you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big home and maybe a couple a bambinos.’ ‘Somma day you gonna comma home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man. Whadda you gonna do then ……. pointa to your watch and say ‘Times up?’
- A woman was called in front of a Texas grand jury for possible manslaughter charges after she shot a mugger 6 times in the back as he was running away with her purse . She had her hand on her gun when he grabbed the purse, and she was left with the revolver in her hand. When asked by the grand jury why she shot the man 6 times in the back as he was running away she replied under oath: “Because when I pulled the trigger the 7th time it only went click.” She was acquitted of all charges…… That’s the way it is in Texas!
- My wife just left me. She says my life revolves around football and she’s sick of it…I’m quite upset. We were together for 7 seasons!
- The world does not revolve around you, it revolves around the sun…which shines out my ass.
- Aww I’m sorry you’re mad the world doesn’t revolve around you. Here…let me pour you a nice, tall glass of Get Over It.
- My wife just left me. She says life revolves around football and she’s sick of it.I’m quite upset. We were together for 7 seasons.
- How many narcissists does it take to screw in a light bulb?One. The narcissist holds the light bulb while the rest of the world revolves around him.