A magician worked on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician did the same tricks each week. However, there was a problem – the captain’s parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood, he started shouting out the secrets in the middle of the show: “Look, it’s not the same hat.” “Look, he is hiding the flowers under the table.” “Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades?” The magician was furious but couldn’t do anything; it was, after all, the captain’s parrot. One day the ship had an accident and sank. The magician found himself, with the parrot, adrift on a piece of wood in the middle of the ocean. They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day, then another, and another. Finally, after a week the parrot said, “OK, I give up. Where the heck is the boat?”
- Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
- Pray for my Mother-In-LawShe’s been taken to hospital as a bee landed on her face. Luckily she wasn’t stung…I was too quick with the spade!
- Just went into a shop and said, “Can I pay by card?” The cashier said, “No problem, what card do you have?” I said, “The six of spades!”
- Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond, but by the end you’ll wish you had a club and a spade!