Spaghetti Jokes

What do you get when you cross pasta with a snake? Spaghetti that winds itself around your fork.

A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for a few years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to have the child. If she stayed in Italy, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but wondered how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to mail him a post card, and write “Spaghetti” on the back. He would then arrange for child support. One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. “Honey,” she said, “you received a very strange post card today.” “Oh, just give it to me and I’ll explain it later,” he said. The wife obeyed, and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted. On the card was written “Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without.”

A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for a few years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to have the child. If she stayed in Italy, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but wondered how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to mail him a post card, and write “Spaghetti” on the back. He would then arrange for child support. One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. “Honey,” she said, “you received a very strange post card today.” “Oh, just give it to me and I’ll explain it later,” he said. The wife obeyed, and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted. On the card was written “Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without.”

My 6 year old refuses to eat anything other than alphabet spaghetti…Luckily he’s dyslexic so I just buy him normal spaghetti!

“Consonant please. Vowel Another vowel. Consonant. And another…”My missus hates it when we have alphabeti spaghetti!

I’ve received a job offer to be a quality controller at the Alphabetti Spaghetti Factory…I’ll have to check the Ts and Cs!

My girlfriend laughed at me when I said I was going to build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face as I drove pasta.

My sister bet me $1000 I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!

My sister bet me a hundred dollars I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti.You should’ve seen the look on her face when I drove pasta.

My sister bet me $100 I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti.You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta.

You know what they say about cold spaghetti.Those who forget the pasta are doomed to reheat it.

My wife bet me $1000 I couldn’t turn spaghetti into a car.You should have see her face when I drove pasta.