Taco Jokes

A man goes into a store and asks the clerk for some “Polish Sausage.” The clerk looked at him and asked “Are you Polish?” The guy, clearly offended, says “Well, yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I asked you for Italian Sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian? Or, if I asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked you for a Kosher Hot Dog, would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or, if I asked you for a Taco, would you ask me if I was Mexican? Would ya, huh? Would ya?” The clerk says, “Well no.” “And if I asked you for some Irish Whiskey, would you ask me if I was Irish? What about Canadian Bacon, would you ask me if I was Canadian?” “Well, I probably wouldn’t,” With self-indignation, the guy says, “Well, all right then, why did you ask me if I’m Polish just because I asked for Polish Sausage?’ The clerk replies, “Because you’re at Home Depot.

Maybe this is why they don’t teach music in high school any more. Following are actual answers from students on music tests… – The principal singer of nineteenth century opera was called pre-Madonna. – Gregorian chant has no music, just singers singing the same lines. – Sherbet composed the Unfinished Symphony. – All female parts were sung by castrati. We don’t know exactly what they sounded like because there are no known descendants. – Young scholars have expressed their rapture for the Bronze Lullaby, the Taco Bell Cannon, Beethoven’s Erotica, Tchaikovsky Cracknutter Suite, and Gershwin’s Rap City in Blue. – Music sung by two people at the same time is called a duel; if they sing without music it is called Acapulco. – A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals. – Contralto is a low sort of music that only ladies sing. – Probably the most marvelous fugue was the one between the Hatfields and the McCoys. – I know what a sextet is but I’d rather not say. – Johann Sebastian Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. – Rock Monanoff was a famous post-romantic composer of piano concerti.

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft’s electronic navigation and communication equipment. Due to the clouds and haze the pilot could not determine his position or course to steer to the airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign and held it in the helicopter’s window. The sign said “WHERE AM I?” in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign and held it in a building window. Their sign said, “YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER.” The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map and determined the course to steer to SEATAC (Seattle/Tacoma) airport and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked the pilot how the “YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER” sign helped determine their position. The pilot responded, “I knew that had to be the MICROSOFT building because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless reply.

Rejected Slogans For Fast Food Restaurants McDonald’s: Still The Best Choice When You Haven’t Got Time for Anything Better! Starbucks: Now with 0.9% Financing on a Tall Frappucino! KFC: Open to Suggestions on Keeping the Word “Fried” Out of Our Name. Burger King: Ask for it Your Way and Get it Any Way We Make it. Jack-in-the-Box: We put the dot in E.Coli ! Wendy’s: Hey, if Dave Didn’t Care About His Cholesterol, Why Should You? Taco Bell: Working Around the Clock to Invent New Ways to Combine the Same Old Five Ingredients.

You guys can laugh at my cargo pants all you want, but I just walked out of Taco Bell with 350 sauce packets.

My kids refused to eat leftover tacos for dinner, so my wife asked me to throw them out.I did. Now I have no idea what to do with the tacos.

What do ducks like on their tacos?Quackamole.