White Jokes

Wearing a pink tshirt for work today to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate colours from whites in their laundry!

White people don’t shoot each other in the streets like black people do… We shoot each other in schools, because we have class.

I needed a password at least eight characters long … … so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs…

Kim Kardashian’s baby will be the whitest person to ever see her vagina.

Now, if we could only get some white smoke to come out of the White House’s chimney.

White smoke is coming out of my neighbor’s house. He either elected a new Pope or he’s got some good weed.

I copied my Match.com bio from a used car website. White Good condition Reliable Cheap No evidence of rear end damage. Must See.

Monica Lewinsky turns 39!! They grow up so fast…seems like yesterday she was crawling around the White House on her hands and knees puting everything in her mouth!!!

I’m a Gentleman. I’ll always give a woman my umbrella if it’s raining outside. Unless she’s wearing white of course.

I copied my Match.com bio from a used car website. White Good condition Reliable Cheap No evidence of rear end damage. Must See.

It funny that when it’s black on white, it’s a crime. When it it’s white on black, it’s a hate crime.

Black person: Jeans $200, Shirt $100, Shoes $160, pockets.. $0 White Person: Jeans $15, Shirt $20, Shoes $30, pockets $5,000

I’m fed up of all this racism. I think we should all come together & unite as one…blacks, whites, Asians…and gang up on the Arabs.

When told the reason for daylight saving time, the old indian man said:- only a white man would believe you could cut a foot off the top of a blanket and sew it to the bottom of the blanket and have a longer blanket.

FOUND: IPod Touch 4G, 32GB, white. Must be able to match the naked pics I found in the photos.

One thing that all us white guys from the suburbs can agree on is if a black guy has a British accent, we’re 85% less scared of him

Dear cast of The Simpsons, Why is it that the Asian characters are white and the white characters are yellow? Sincerely, confused.

Kim Kardashian wore white at her wedding. That’s it. That’s the joke.

It’s a good thing Maradona isn’t still playing. Who knows what he’d do when the ref sprays that white line on the pitch.

Whenever I get a friend request Facebook should allow me free access to their wall and pics regardless of privacy settings so I can see who I’m dealing with cuz some of you f*ckers are so creepy your profile pic might as well be a white panel van.

Ever notice how white women over 40 can’t dance without clapping?

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.

My Chinese waiter put my food down in front of another white guy who looked nothing like me. I get it now………….Wait, That’s not my waiter.

I consider myself a tolerable person, and I can care less if you are gay/straight;black/white; or conservative or liberal. The one thing I cannot tolerate, is ALL YOUR FUKN GAME REQUESTS!!!!!

I asked my mom one time why I was white and she was black. She said, ” the way I remember the party you’re lucky you don’t bark.”

It’s funny how if you are a minority and commit a mass murder, you are either a terrorist, thug, or an illegal, but if you are white, then you have a mental disorder and misunderstood!

If your girlfriend comes home in a white suit, smelling of honey and covered in bee stings, she’s a keeper.

Whiteboards are remarkable.

I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.

I discovered I scream the same way whether I’m about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

Whenever my wife is upset I let her color in my black and white tattoos.She just really needed a shoulder to crayon.

What’s big and white and can’t climb trees?A fridge.

When your girlfriend comes home in a white suit, covered in bee stings and smelling like honey.You know she’s a keeper.

Doesn’t matter if you’re black; white; old; young; rich; poor; thin; fat.At the end of the day…It’s night.

Whenever my wife is upset I let her color in my black and white tattoos.Sometimes she just really needs a shoulder to crayon.

When your girlfriend comes home in a white suit, covered in bee stings and smelling like honey.You know she’s a keeper.