Ooooh… the best jokes about ghosts

Why did the sad ghost use an elevator?

To lift his spirits.

I found out my girlfriend is really a ghost.

I had my suspicions the moment she walked through the door.

My car was haunted so I called an exorcist who expelled the ghost.

When the bill came, it was too expensive for me to pay.

So my car was repossessed.

Why don’t monsters eat ghosts?

Because they taste like sheet.

What kind of streets do ghosts haunt?

Dead ends!

My dad jokes and ghosts have a lot in common.

They get a lot of boos.

What’s the best place in the house to hide from ghosts?

The living room.

What do you call a ghost’s boobies?

Paranormal entitties.

What do you call a ghost chicken?

A poultry-geist.

I woke up last night to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor standing at the foot of my bed.

At first I was afraid…then I was petrified.

Why did the ghost go to rehab.

He couldn’t handle his boo’s.

What kind of fruit do ghosts like?

Boo berries.

A ghost that used to haunt me as a kid visited me again last night

Gave me déjà BOO!!

If you’re a comedian, never do a show for ghosts.

There’s a 100% chance you’ll get boo’ed off the stage.

I befriended a ghost who keeps wheezing all the time.

I named him Gasper.

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