We all love Harry Potter, and we all love laughing too. Whether you’re looking to woo a Harry Potter fan or you’ve got a big wizard themed party coming up, here are some of our favourite Harry Potter jokes to Slytherin to a conversation and get even the driest Muggles laughing.
I’m trying to write a book about Platform 9 and 3/4. But I keep hitting a wall.
Why doesn’t Voldemort have glasses?
How does Harry Potter get rid of a rash?
How do Malfoys enter a building?
Why was Harry Potter arrested?
Because he made fun of someone on Snape Chat.
What do you call the entrance to a magical gym?
Snape: VOLDEMORTS COMING!!!!
Dumbledore: Are you serious?
Snape: No, I’m Severus.
How does Harry Potter get down a hill?
Walking. JK Rolling.
Hows does Voldemort enter a room?
He slithers in.
What do wizards in Harry Potter use instead of laxatives?
What would you call a reality show where Sirius Black adopted the Weasley children?
Orange Is the New Black.
How many wizards does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. One to hold the bulb. One to rotate the room.
What’s the most unreasonable thing about the Harry Potter books?
A ginger with two friends.
What did Harry Potter wear when his hair fell out?
How does Voldemort keep his breath fresh?
He eats de-mentos.
Why wouldn’t Ron’s car move?
It got stuck in a quid-ditch
Why didn’t the professors like having Fred and George Weasley at Hogwarts?
They never knew which witch was which.
How many muggles does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One. It is the only thing they are good for.
I found the first four Harry Potter books to be quite light-hearted.
The fifth one was dead Sirius.
We hope you liked these Harry Potter jokes, and if you’ve got any more to share, please leave them in the comments below!